Lying is the most fun a boy can have
by MisaPummelman
Summary: Kurt has something to tell Blaine after he dumped him. Past!Klaine, Present!Blastian, Pre!PucKurt if you squint your eyes a bit. Slash, swearing and Blastian!bashing. Rated T for swearing. Oneshot!


Lying is the most fun a boy can have…

**AN**: Alright, this was inspired by yet another song, as most of my fics seem to do… This time, it's by Panic! At the Disco, and the song is the same as the title of this little fic.

I am very sorry if some of this seem pretty weird, I am sick at the present moment. Fever, and I can't swallow. That's what she said! *giggle* All I've eaten today is one ½ pancake for dinner, as well as a few chips. So I am also a little high-wired, pluss I think I am having some form of hallucinations… It's pretty scary.

Roy is not a member of ND in my fic. To be honest, I forgot about him :/

The song is called _Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off_, and I've changed some words as it is originally sung about a girl.

Also, I will update my chapter-fictions as soon as possible, but as said I am sick so I do not know how long it will last :(

Enjoy!

PS: I've sat this under Blaine/Kurt, but they're only a couple in past tense. If you've read my other fiction, you know that I always make Blaine a douche. I just can't help it.

**Word Count**: 1817

**Disclaimer**: I own neither Glee nor the lyrics used in this fiction, they are owned by their respective owners; Ryan Murphy/FOX and P!atD

**Warnings**: Swearing(mostly in British, weird), Slash, some Blastian!bashing…

Please remember I am not English myself, so I apologize if my grammar is lacking.

**Characters/Pairings**: Kurt, Blaine, Sebastian, Puck, New Directions, Trouble Tones/past!Klaine, present!Blastian, Wemma, pre!PucKurt if you look carefully…

Word – narrative

"Word" – Speech

'Word' – Thoughts

_Word _– Kurt singing, press on certain words

**Word **– Background singing

_**Word **_– Both singing

Kurt was pissed. Not drunk, but really, fucking annoyed. How could that douchebag of a boy dump _him? _He was a right catch, he was, and he had given the bastard his virginity! But no, of course the wanker would be lured in by fucking Sebastian Smythe, brainwashed to believe that he was too good for Kurt, and that he should dump him and be with someone who'd appreciate him, worship the ground he tread on… What a fuck bucket!

They had all seen it coming though… All had been well until Blaine went to Dalton and met He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Already then had it started falling apart. Then they went to Scandals, and Smythe was all over _his fucking boyfriend!_ Then Blaine turned into a douche-lord as well, as he pushed himself on Kurt, even when he said no. Even though they made up, and all seemed to be going swimmingly, Kurt had still given him something he would never get back.

After sectionals and over Christmas, that's when he lost grip on all normality. The hate was still strong between the New Directions and the Trouble Tones they were allowed to keep the group up, as Ms. Corcoran funded it herself), he had literary no contact with his used-to-be best black, and Sebastian Smythe transferred to McKinley. Said it before, will say it again; Douchebag.

As he and Blaine got ever closer, Blaine and Kurt started cracking up. The whole club could see it, even Finn and that was saying something. He found his support in Quinn and Puck of all people, as his other best girl would be suspended for another month. They sat on each side of him during rehearsals, as Sebastian always managed to seclude Blaine in a corner, and hang out with him in their spare time.

Their ever obvious teacher thought nothing of the development, as he had wedding-plans on his mind. Yes, he had proposed to her on New Year's Eve, exactly as the New Year was rung in by amazing fireworks. He hadn't really been paying that much attention in the classes, neither Glee nor Spanish, and had just given them the already planned lessons. They seemed to be running out though, so now they just watched Spanish movies in Spanish, and was told to "wing it" in Glee.

After Blaine broke up with him – in public, with the bastard only a few feet away and his excuse being "You're so jealous of my friendship with Sebastian, and you've become clingy", even though Kurt could see the fucking hickeys on his neck – he became a bit depressed. Fashion was the last thing on his mind, he was just finding clothes that matched and not bothering with layers or accessories, his hair had had a trip for the worse, and his eyes were lifeless. His taste of music actually broadened, as he didn't want to listen to music that had a Klaine-Sappy-Moment connected to it. His new favorite band became Panic! at the Disco, as their songs were often fast, and realistic lyrics and the vocalist's voice was orgasmic.

So then, in the beginning of March, a couple of weeks after he and Blaine broke up and Mr Schue continued with the wing-it treatment, he decided he was ready with the sadness. A new Kurt was back, and he looked better than before.

He gathered the help from the boys of ND plus Quinn for his performance. As he needed a band and not really back-up singers, they were happy to help. Finn was on the drums, Puck on the guitar, Artie on the bass, Mike on the keyboard and Sam on the second guitar. Quinn was doing his back-up. They practiced for days on end, as it was a rather difficult song, and some of them didn't know it by heart as Kurt did. But finally, they got it down and were ready to stun their audience.

By the time they were done with their number, Mr. Schue has found out he was being sloppy, and as they were soon going to be at regionals, they were holding auditions to what songs they would be singing. It was held during a school assembly, featuring parents as it was information for the both of them that was being said. All of them were fairly nervous, but were doing okay considering. They had to be seated in the audience during the other performances, so Kurt would have to bare through a Blastian-Duett, and that was even worse than a Finchel one!

"And now, performing a song by Panic! at the Disco, Quinn and the important boys of New Directions!" Mr. Schue frowned at that before he left the stage and let the gang onto it. When he noticed Blaine and Sebastian wasn't on there, he sighed. He was not as oblivious as everybody thought he was, and had noticed Kurt's change in behavior.

Kurt went to the mic and looked out at the audience. Then he smiled and said, "Hey, my name is Kurt Hummel and the group behind me consists of Finn Hudson on drums, Sam Evans and Puck on guitar, Artie Abrams on bass and Mike Chang on keyboard. The lovely lady on the other mic is Quinn Fabray". He smiled again, and run a hand through his shaggy hair, and coughed in the crook of his elbow.

"This song is dedicated to an arsehole, and I think the person in question knows who I am walking about" he smirked, and shot a quick glance at Blaine and Sebastian. Blaine looked shocked and hurt, but Sebastian looked right pissed.

"Enjoy, please," he said and turned to Finn. As he hit the drumsticks to count Kurt up, Kurt turned back again.

_Is it still me that makes you sweat? _

_Am I who you think about in bed? _

_When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your shirt? _

_Then think of what you did _

_And how I hope to God he was worth it. _

_When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin._

The audience who knew the song cheered when they recognized it. And the group was a sight to see as well. Quinn was wearing a tight, white tank top and a shirt, black, ruffled skirt, knee high socks and flat shoes. The boys, except Kurt, were dressed mostly the same in tighter than usual jeans, black shirts and red suspenders, while Kurt wore tighter-than-his-usual-pants(which is saying something)-jeans, a pair of white, scruffed Converse, and a tight, white shirt with black suspenders.

**I've got more wit,**_ a better kiss, _**a hotter touch**_, a better fuck _

_Than any boy you'll ever meet, _**sweetie you had me**

_Boy I was it, _**look past the sweat,**_ a better love deserving of _

_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? _

_No, no, no, you know it will always just be me_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. _**Faster, faster**

Already, half the audience was on their feet. Even the jocks, who had hated them just last year. Things changed after Nationals though, that and Dave came out. Now some of them were actually friends, and stayed on th ND's side in the Glee-Club-War.

_**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, **_

_Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? _

_**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, **_

_Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close_

Here, Quinn and Puck joined him in some of the chorus, as the song would have been a bit flat with just Kurt. Plus, all their voices sounded so awesome together it was unbelievable.

_So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus _

_In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off? _

**Let's pick up, pick up**

_Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part _

_Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick. _

_I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention. _

_Now let's not get selfish _

_Did you really think I'd really let you kill this chorus?_

Kurt danced around the stage as he sang, with Quinn and with Puck. They were all sweaty, Finn more than the rest of them, as he was the one doing the hardest work.

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. _**Faster, faster**__

_**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, **_

_Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? _

_**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, **_

_Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?_

_Dance to this beat _

**Dance to this beat **

_Dance to this beat_

His back-up and best friends joined him again, as they sang and danced and having loads of fun.

**I've got more wit**,_ a better kiss, _**a hotter touch,**_ a better fuck _

_Than any boy you'll ever meet, _**sweetie you had me**__

_Boy I was it, _**look past the sweat**_**, **__a better love deserving of _

_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? _

_No, no, no, you know it will always just be me _

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. _**Faster, faster**

_**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, **_

_Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? _

_**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, **_

_Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?_

They were getting winded now, and were glad the song was almost finished. The whole crowd, except to boys in the front row, was bouncing on their feet.

**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls **

_Dance to this beat _

**So testosterone boys and harlequin girls **

_Dance to this beat _

_**And hold a lover close **_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. __**Faster, faster**_

_Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster_

The applause was roaring, it was deafening, and they laughed and smiled whilst they took their bows and went backstage. High fives and fist bumping and some serious hugging was going on back there. Kurt was squeezed between Quinn, at his back, and Puck, at his front. And he was clinging on as he let the last of his emotions on the Blastian subject go.

He hardly felt Quinn moving herself from his back and ushering both him and Puck into a seat, where Kurt ended up astride Puck's lap, one leg on each side of him, with his hands fisted in his shirt and crying into his neck. Puck was stroking his back and kissing his hair, whispering nonsense into his ears, and calming him down.

Puck felt Kurt's body relaxing and his breathing soften and becoming slower. He went to look in his face, but Kurt held him so tight he was unable to move. When he heard light snoring he smiled and made himself comfortable in the chair, still stroking Kurt's back and kissing his hair.

- The End -

**AN**: Please let me know what you think of it, leave a review it makes me happy! :D

It's currently 2am, and I am about to puke, so I'll just say Goodbye for now!

Love – Misa


End file.
